Refusing Child Marriage to Become an Architect
“I Am African & I Can” is a women’s empowerment blog highlighting stories of Black women’s struggles and successes.
By Hadiatou Wann | 07/31/20
Born in Nzerekore (located in the Southeast part of Guinea, Conakry), Maimouna Sow had always ranked #1 in school, and read the Quran at a tender age. She grew up in a very religious household. After her parents divorced, she and her mother moved to The Ivory Coast. When her mother remarried as a second wife, the then 6-year-old had to learn to adjust to a new lifestyle. She went from being the only child to sharing her space and meals with 10 other children.
When the civil war began in The Ivory Coast, she moved back to Guinea with her mother. In 2007, a civil war erupted in Guinea as well, which pushed them to move to the United States. Although she was quiet and didn’t speak English, once Maimouma came to the USA, she skipped a grade and graduated valedictorian of her high school.
While in high school, she had one problem that she could not resolve on her own. Before leaving Guinea, she was betrothed to be married to an older cousin. She was only 14 years old. For Maimouma, being a good girl and respecting her parents’ wishes was always important to her. As a result of that, Maimouna reflected in hindsight, she was being a people-pleaser and had been conditioned to be “a good girl” and that restrained her from voicing her opinion. Once she arrived in the United States, she finally felt like she could have a voice and an opinion. Suddenly, she wanted to express that she did not want to partake in an arranged marriage at that age.
Witnessing the sexism present in her culture, and the domestication of women, juxtaposed alongside the idea of the “land of the free” that is America, she started to wonder what kind of a life she would lead if she followed the path her mother took. She felt angry and wondered if another man would do to her what the men of her culture do to women. “My mother was married at age 15, Was a mother of two by age 18, has had multiple co-wives, and was basically chained to a life of cooking and cleaning for men, as are many women in my life,” Maimouna expressed.
Every time her to-be husband phoned her, she would ignore his calls. Feeling rebellious, she stopped wearing the hijab, cut her hair and indulged in Western culture.
Shortly after, she realized that the marriage had been officiated in Guinea without her consent or presence. They awaited the bride’s return to be alongside her husband. Feeling tricked, Maimouna went to school and told her counselor about it.
Within 2 days, Sauti Yetu—a multi-issue community-based organization— came to rescue her in school.
After being in their custody for 6 days, Sauti Yetu brought back Maimouna. Unfortunately, child protective services could do nothing about it because to them she was not in an imminent danger.
“The government could do nothing until I was being raped, which to me, would be too late,” Maimouna said.
Fortunately, as scary as it was to speak up, and stand up to her entire family, and in the process disappointing everyone, it made her parents realize that they had to let their daughter be the captain of her own ship.
Every girl she knew back home got married whether she liked it or not. She didn’t want to end up like them. She wanted to have control of her life and chose to put marriage on hold, further her studies, work, take care of herself and then get married when ready.
Feeling hopeful for a bright future, Maimouna went to college and in 2016, graduated from SUNY Delhi with a Bachelors in Architectural Design and Building. “I didn’t get married. So I had to prove that I could do something, I don’t have the luxury of just coasting by,” Maimouna expressed.
Why did Maimouna choose to study Architecture?
“I wanted to do something that would last. Something meaningful but also practical,” she said. She added that she wanted to walk down the street and look at buildings with admiration knowing that she built them.
Three months after graduating, she secured a job. Today, at only 26 years old, Maimouna is a first generation college graduate, home owner, and Junior Architect at a high-end residential firm in Manhattan.
To simplify what an architect is, they are like the artists for the building industry, the person clients call right after they buy land, or buy a house they want to renovate. Architects don’t only have to design buildings that are aesthetically pleasing, but also have to figure out every part of a building. From deciding where to put outlets, door knobs, to finding the best use of a space. etc., her position requires a lot of labor and dissecting every piece of the house.
She has worked on the interiors and exteriors of some of the buildings on 5th Avenue. The youngest and only Black woman in her office, Maimouna’s day consists of drafting, building 2-D and 3-D models, researching high-end materials, and reading the building codes.
Everyone in the firm must know how to communicate via drawing. That way if she or a colleague were to put a project on the side, the next person could look at the drawing and immediately know what it means. Architects use 3-D models to figure out what the building should look like, while the 2-D drawings, and detail drawings tells a contractor how to build it.
After working in the field for 4 years, depending on what degree you earned, Architects must take 6 exams to get the license. “It’s important to get the license so you can work for yourself, many other female and black architects have ventured out on their own and are doing well in the field.” the Guinean Architect explained. “Being an Architect sounds glamorous, but it’s a lot of work at the beginning, you have to push through until you master enough so you can design the glamorous things.”
In the near future, her goal is to invest in Guinea by starting a real estate business, where she could own buildings, build affordable housing, community centers, and help with the development of sustainable cities in West Africa. “There is so much potential in our country and I want to be a part of that. It takes one person to do a little bit and the next person can do more,”Maimouna voiced.
Diana Guzman, Maimouna’s colleague and friend since college days: “Mouna has always been an understanding, compassionate, and supportive friend. Her creativity and attention to detail make her a fantastic architectural designer. Her advocacy for equality and justice is admiring and inspiring to witness. Mouna is a role model to those around her.”
Maimouna says that because she stood her ground, a cycle has been broken. Her younger sister didn’t have to go through an arranged marriage because Maimouna stood up for herself. The younger sister also went to college and will soon be going to graduate school to become a dentist. She shared that there are many girls back home who were married off young and never had the opportunity to go to school, or if they were in school, never had the chance to finish. They could have been doctors, lawyers, architects but no one will ever know their potential beyond being a mother. Now that she understands how many girls back home are oppressed, she can speak against child marriage.
It takes courage to stand up for yourself. Instead of succumbing to a life of just cooking and cleaning, Maimouna chose to build a career first. Had she agreed to be married off at 14 years old, she probably would not have become an Architect. She chose to do what was best for her, and now the world can also benefit from her intellect. The little girl who once felt voiceless has become a beacon of hope to the world.
Inside the Life of An Architect
“A strong woman is someone who wouldn’t let herself be silenced. She doesn’t just say ‘I can’t do it, but rather how can I do it?’”
Maimouna is currently a Board member of the New York Coalition of Black Architects. She is volunteering as a Recording Secretary.
“Pain is temporary. It’s hard, but it’s temporary. You have to be uncomfortable for a minute and then you don’t have to be uncomfortable.”
“I don’t have to brag about my cooking. I can brag about how well I do my job. ”
“There is so much potential in our country and I want to be a part of that. It takes one person to do a little bit and the next person can do more.”
Connect with Maimouna:
Facebook: Mouna Sow
Instagram: @sow.arch
Email: sow.arch@gmail.com
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